The Tragic Truth

It seems almost heartbreaking that the people we care the most about are not always supposed to be in our lives for as long as we would like.

Whether thats a loved one passing on, 

a friend moving onto something new 

or a relationship failing for one reason or another. 

For some reason or another it seems the ones with give our all to are not supposed to be there for us. 

I have spent the last three years of my life giving my all to the boy I genuinely believed I would spend the rest of my life with. In that time he has smashed me in one breath only to pick me back up with the next. He has given me the most amount of happiness I have ever felt and I pencilled in our future together and prepared for many more years to come. I flew half way around the world and had the absolute best and worst time of my life; but I also spent some of that time feeling more alone that ever before.

a broken heart can be nursed back to health but Trust is not something that is so easily fixed. The thoughts of deceit constantly flow through your veins, thicker than the blood that keeps you on this Earth. These thoughts consumed me and I became blinded by the sheer amount of pain I had opened myself up to. The potential for heartbreak was thicker in the air than the tension that was building between us. 

I thought I was doing the best thing by distancing myself, for openly moving back to catch my breath. To clear my vision. 

But this distance tore the bond we had. alcohol mixed with spilt tears don’t go down well. Its gotten messy and I think theres too many broken pieces to fit everything back in its right place.

if you’re reading this. Thankyou. 

For opening me up and reaching right inside revealing the best and worst parts of me. I will eternally miss you and the what we had but there comes a time when the bad outweighs the good. I think we reached that a week or two ago and we were both clutching at straws hoping out feelings would sew our broken ties back together. 

I just wish it had worked out so much different.

Inevitability is torturous and people are temporary.