A firm talking to

So yesterday I sat myself down

Looked in the mirror

And told myself to pull it together.

No more depression naps, no more perfect procrastination. 

My doctor told me I should be focusing on improving my perspective.

Depression makes this almost impossible, right?

 I thought I’d give it a go - what’ve I got to lose 

The conversation went a little like this - 

Hey Beth, pull yourself together man, fuck. Sure you’re struggling to get up, yeah I know you couldn’t get out of bed last week. I completely understand that you can’t stand to look in the mirror because your appearance disgusts you but hey, it’s not that bad! You’re 20 years old for Christ sake. You should be able to balance work, university and feeding yourself on a regular basis.

Just like, get a grip otherwise you’re going to fail your degree, you’ll loose your job, be homeless and well die. 

So as you can imagine, I worked myself into a 2 day hibernation and my housemates was certain I had moved out due to the lack of movement from my locked room.

At which point you would expect them to check on me - spoiler - they didn’t 

To which my natural response was to well cry. I spent another day and half crying because obviously I was useless nobody gave a damn about out. 

After binge watching greys anatomy, 4 multipacks of Doritos and emotionally draining myself I snapped out of my slump and got myself a sandwich. 

I soon realised - rather Ironically - that Perhaps I was in fact dramatic. My firm talking to turned into almost 4 days of sobbing - perhaps I should consider a change in approach.

      Same time next week?